“You are going to do some really stupid and mean things in the name of love. Don’t be so hard on yourself when things don’t turn out. You are a good person that loved deeply. Anybody worth having will know that hurting someone is not showing someone who you really are. You’re a sensitive person that showed the depth of your love, by the depth of your pain. Fairytale love will show you only one face. Real love will show you as many faces as it takes to get you to see how much that person really wanted you in their life.” ― Shannon L. Alder
Have you ever forgiven, forgave, forgiving constantly and just kept on forgiving because you know that this is what God wants you to do?
As Christians we perceive the tremendous significance of forgiving. We realize that we have been overlooked, that the payoff has been paid at to a great degree high cost to free us of our wrongdoings, obligations or trespasses. We are told to love still and forgive. We can’t both love and harbor the sharpness of forgiveness toward the same individual in our souls.
I as of late right now will expound on the expense of forgiveness and how it is borne by the individual who does the forgiving.
Who actually bears the expense of forgiving?
In some cases, we mistake forgiveness for reconciliation. To reconcile is to restore a friendly relation or peace with one another it would seem.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are not one and the same. While we can’t have genuine compromise/reconciliation without absolution/forgiveness, we can forgive without accomplishing compromise or reconciliation.
It only takes one to forgive
According to God, “We can forgive without the other person’s reconciliation,” but to me and being human, it still hurts one’s feelings and you are wondering why are they acting this way towards you when you only love them?
I know that when we forgive we wipe away the sin, debt or trespass and it is no longer owed, but doesn’t mean there is no expense or cost because more often there is. One would think when we forgive and pray for that person, that they would feel the need to apologize to that person, but it does not work that way with life.
Say for example somebody hit your car and you forgive that person who hit you. You still have to pay for that car to be fixed and that person may not even know that they have been forgiven by you and to me it seems that when we forgive it gives more blessings to the person who forgives, but in the end God knows what has taken place and this is all we want is for God to know that we forgave that person, regardless of what they have done to us.
We learn when we become Christians that when we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and become his disciples we must follow His command, not ours. This is when we receive His grace and if we are to love one another as He loves us, we must also give forgiveness as He unconditionally forgives and loves us.
It does take two to reconcile
While we can overlook unreservedly and autonomously, restoring amicability is two-way road. We can’t drive any other individual to acknowledge our forgiveness, just as God does not compel us to acknowledge His endowment of effortlessness. It is free will at work definitely. and for an assortment of reasons, compromise and/or reconciliation may not happen and may not be conceivable.
So in the end we must just remember:
While forgiveness might clear the way to reconciliation, it CANNOT be a condition for forgiveness.
Contingent forgiveness is not effortlessness. Truth be told, it is not absolution by any means. It just builds up another contract with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
So, in closing for those of us who attempt to be forgiving when individuals hurt our feelings, it is like hitting your head on a brick wall, when they are not sorry.
How would you overlook somebody who is not sorry for what he or she has done?
I honestly do believe that forgiving requires that both sides perceive that harm was done by one of them to alternate’s sentiments, physical or mental wellbeing, or property. The following step is normally for the individual who did the harm to apologize earnestly and offer to present appropriate reparations. Of course, may or may not happen this way but my opinion only.
The harmed party then acknowledges the expression of remorse and excuses. At long last, there is a mending of the relationship, maybe and in most cases thanks to God, there will be.
Frequently, that relationship turns out to be much more grounded in light of the fact that the individual who improved what is important to the next individual. In the meantime, the harmed individual encounters a type of mending through absolution and re-acknowledgment through prayer and just turning it over to God making sure He knows that you repent and forgive this other person.
Shockingly, this absolution does not generally fit reality. Your relationship is at a genuine halt if your companion or relative for this situation doesn’t trust he or she did anything wrong, or simply couldn’t care less. It dampers your life and while you are trying to figure what the heck have I done to this person to be treated like this? This is the point at which you need to quit attempting to alter the other individual and focus on settling yourself.
My sister use to tell me all of the time, not saying anything back to the person is the best thing to do, but I feel that when you do this, you are just as bad as them?
Saying you love that person to them has been a healer for me. You will need to be a very forgiving spirit to go according to the scriptures, no doubt. I firmly believe two wrongs don’t make a right and when we don’t strike back in the same tone, this is a form of forgiving, but we still must make a conscious choice of forgiving, and it is better if we forgive to their face if you can get near them and if not, prayer is the best medicine for our own spiriutal healing. This way you fix yourself by in a way speaking triggering our own spritual healing which is most importantly.